So, I've hit my highest weight of my whole life. 139.5 pounds. I know to some of you that doesn't sound like a lot, but when you're only 5'0 - it makes me officially "plus size" as I am an 11ish when it comes to clothes. Last summer, I was a four, and participated in more than one bikini contest, was a favorite blonde bartender at a high end golf course, and had a bonafide sugar daddy. This year- I only put on a bathing suit once this year- and only because it was for my BEST friend's birthday, and lake time was mandatory. I wouldn't even register on the radar of a man who dates model types, and shopping for clothes in one of the biggest dreads in my life (I'm a fashion major, own a line of clothes, and work for an online fashion magazine... doesn't really mesh up).
BUT
Today was the first day.
I didn't work out, but I was very stict in my eating - my calorie count came in somewhere around 1200 (to lose weight I should be somewhere around 1000) - so I felt good. I ate every two hours, so I wasn't starving, and kept to my schedule/rules.
I'm on the hunt for a treadmill, though I don't really have the money to buy one right now, someone has got to have one that is collecting dust somewhere who just needs it out of their residence for some space. I don't run, but I love to walk (mostly because I can read a magazine or catch up on reading assignments for school) - and would really like to get back to it. Indiana is starting to get really cold, so outside walking for me isn't really an option. Yes, I know I COULD do it, but I HATE the cold.
Wish me luck, day two commences shortly! I need to start taking melatonin at night so that I can get back to a normal sleep schedule. Along with my calorie intake- I need to be tracking my water intake, but... one step at a time. Thirty pounds is the most I've ever wanted/needed to lose. It's GOING to happen. I'm not happy, I don't feel sexy or confident, my life just isn't the same.
Day two, look out!
xo
"Fat" Kaitlin
